Monday, November 10, 2008

Nine Words Women Use

  1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
  2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
  3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
  4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
  5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
  6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
  7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . That will bring on a 'whatever').
  8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F--- YOU!
  9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Scripture of the Day

"Bring ye all the tithes
into the storehouse, that
there may be meat in mine house,
and prove me now herewith,
saith the Lord of hosts;
if I will not open you the
windows of heaven, and pour
you out a blessing, that
there shall not be room enough
to receive it

-Malachi 3:10-
Country Wisdom

"Friendship is
a plant
which must
often be
watered."

-German Proverb-

Weird things my Family Says

Walt to Maureen, the day of the Talk: Try to say Polo- Ponies not paloponees people will understand you...
Maureen: When do I say that? before or after the talk?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steven: Why do I have to do laundry. Just buy me more clothes...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samantha: I'm six (not really) I can go out by myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Steven: "Mom!! Samantha is not sharing her milk"
Samantha: "NOoo! I have GOODIES, I'm coughing"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samantha, the day we didn't know where Oddie was: " Mami!! Oddie TESTAPIER"...
Mom giggling: "don't worry we'll find him"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samantha to mom the day she had her teeth checked at school:
"The doctor said I don't have cabinets in my teeth"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samantha to Steven the day he came from school and rang the doorbell as he opened the door with his key:
"Why you ding the dong?"

Google Search